Spartacus Stories

Here is a collection of Stories written by many different disabled people about the impact that DLA has on their lives. It also includes stories of fear about the proposed changes to personal independence payment.

Admin: benefitscroungingscum, Lucia and Lucy
to add your story email us at spartacusstories @ g mail . com (without the spaces) (your posts are there, just being scheduled throughout the day) (can you add how you want your 'name' to appear ta)

Monday 18 June 2012

Vanessa's Story

People send me their stories a lot. Some are fragile, some angry, some frightened, some defiant. But they all deserve to be heard. Today, Vanessa sent me her story. If any of you would like to add your voice to this blog, remember, alone we whisper, together we shout. 

If you are healthy imagine this for a moment?
Stick a 5lb bag around each limb, add a tornique around one leg and an alternate arm. Dont forget to tie a band around your head and pull it really tight so it stops you concentrating at times. During the day feel free to put borrow your nans glasses and do some shopping. Oh and must not forget the final ingredient.. do all this after being awake for 40 hours!

I know this analogy is true because I was healthy once. I can compare
I worked up to 16 hours some days in my yrs as a delivery driver, I would load up my van at 6am, deliver my van by teatime. then collect back onto my van and empty it at the end it the day. All single handed.
At any delivery I might have a drop of 20 x 5kg boxes of paper up 3 flights of stairs, I did this for yrs.
I used to also work for a lighting company and had to climb onto cranes in helicopter hangers to change the bulbs! Or re-lamp the whole of Tesco's in an afternoon (the days of fluorescents!)

I was exhausted to the point of collapse some days. I remember it. But I also remember it got better after a good nights sleep. The feeling of MS fatigue is much the same, but it doesn't get better and comes on with something as simple as one household chore

So the point of the Atos assessment is what I can do? I can do most things but with the above. Does this mean Im just weak willed and can work really?
How do I explain to you that even though I can do it, I cant? I can only just manage my life. If I have to work I wont be able to live.
I dream I can, I hope of a cure, I want to follow my dreams, I want to carry on learning and contributing but I cant because my illness stops me,
Its a medically diagnosed neurological condition that has no cure, it is also degenerative so until a cure is found I wont get better. Why does that not void me from your test? can I have MS and be a cheat? really?
I know how the witches felt on their ducking stools now..Will I float or sink?

My mental health is affected and I can see how anyone with MH issues feels so frightened. This isnt assessment it is judgement.

What is the point in me living now, I am no longer allowed quality of life because I'm too sick to work and I have to appease all who view and judge my disability levels for the rest of my life? ? god forbid I should get on a rollercoaster ! Or find pleasure in a hobby like baking because then I might be deemed fit for work, or appear in the DM as a cheat!
The worst battle for me in all of this is my mental one.. Am I weak? Is it me not trying hard enough? I carry so much guilt about my failure as a human being to overcome my illness and be the person I am as if without it. As society seems to expect of me.

Since when was it morally decent for someone who has never spent even a day in a wheelchair decide that to be able to propel yourself you are not mobility hindered?

So when you ask me at the assessment Can I lift a jug of water? I want to answer that it is an irrelevant question and in noway an indication of the fact that I cant peel more than 3 potatoes with out going into spasm and therefore pretty useless! it applauds the fact I can raise a jug!

I would rather stand in-front of a judge and jury (or Mr Jay) and plead my reasons for not answering Atos questions than answer the questions in the first place?

And my other little rant is.. If I am under the eyes of the law 'disabled' (and I am because I had to prove I was in order to claim when I was sacked for incapability at work rather than letting me reduce my hours) why is someone else deciding my disability?

I also have no convictions of fraud and can pass an enhanced police check so why treat me like I am lying about my condition when I have the back up of medical science?

4 comments:

  1. Keep the tracker in view as the van in maneuvered into position, and you are much more likely to avoid a car accidentUsed Vans

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  2. We need people to help picket the PCS national conference in Brighton on 21 May. Let's put pressure on PCS to work with us to fight the benefit barbarism destroying so many people's lives, rather than set the police on those of us who campaign against the Welfare reforms. Please circulate this widely, and invite all your Facebook friends.

    https://m.facebook.com/?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F&_rdr#!/events/258534454291849

    ReplyDelete

  3. !!! How To Get Your husband Back & Avoid Divorce !!!


    Hello to every one out here,I am Latisha Allen,From Wisconsin, USA.I will start by saying to all that have experience heart break and also cant do with out there lover should please stop here and read up my story, So as you will know how to go solving or getting your ex back from this spell caster..AND AGAIN I WILL WANT TO ALSO TELL ALL THAT THIS SPELL CASTER I WILL WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IS HARMLESS AND DO NOT HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECT, BUT TO RESTORE AND GIVE YOU BACK WHAT YOU DESERVE, COS WHEN I MEET WITH THIS SPELL CASTER THAT WAS INTRODUCED TO ME BY THE WIFE OF MY BOSS IN MY WORKING PLACE, HE MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE CAN CAST SPELL ON SO MANY OTHER PROBLEMS EXCEPT IN GETTING YOUR EX OR MAKING YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU MORE THAT WILL SUITE YOU. Last year December, My lover was cheating on me and was not also give me the attention that a man should give to a woman,And really that was troubling my mind and tearing my heart apart to the extent that i was not concentrating in the office the way i use to before the break up by my lover.And before that incident,I always see how my boss use to love his wife so much. I was binging to think that i was not doing the right thing to him that will make him love me forever,So i really gathered my courage and went to my boss wife office to ask her the secret that made her husband love her so dearly,In the first place she refused in telling me,She asked me why i am asking her such a question,That if is it not normal for every man to love his wife.I told her the reason that made me ask her about this question,That my lover started cheating on me lately,When i knelt down before her for her to see my seriousness in this issue that i went to ask her,She opened up to me by telling me that i should not tell anybody about what she want to tell me,The wife to my boss started to say to me that she used a very powerful spell on his husband to love her,And the spell that she used is harmless, But the spell is just to make him love her and never to look for any other woman except her. I QUICKLY ASK HER HOW DID SHE GET TO KNOW THIS GREAT,POWER,DURABLE AND PERFECT WORK SPELL CASTER,she said that a friend of hers also introduce her to him. Then i also ask her how i can meet with this spell caster.SHE SAID EVERYTHING TO ME,THAT THE NAME OF THIS SPELL CASTER IS Dr BRAVE.My next question to her was how can i get this wonderful spell caster,She said she is going to give me the email of the spell caster for me to contact him for my problem,Really she gave to me this spell caster email and i contacted him and explained all to him,And after every thing that needed to be done by the spell caster, In the next two days, My lover that hated me so much came to house begging for forgiveness and i was so glad that i have finally gotten my heart desire..I was so grateful to this spell caster for what he has done for my life.. So i made a promise to him that i will always continue telling the world about his wonderful work towards me and also to other that came to you before and also the people that will also get to you from my story that i narrated online now..I will want to say to the entire world that you should not cry over noting again, That there is a great man that has been helping individuals to restore there Joy and smile in there faces !! The direct email to get this man is bravespellcaster@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW THE BETTER FOR YOU TO GET QUICK SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS...

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  4. Sue, i hope you read this. I'm Derek Loudfoot, we met at uclh. i was the wine drinker who was trying to prove that just being in hospital is not a reason to stop having treat or two when available. T13, i hope you remember me (short bowel and tpn for life). first of all congrats on the job (i saw that blog, if anyones cares its you. i lost your details and have been trying to contact you direct for some time. if you see this can you find a minute to contact me. derekloudfoot@yahoo.com. dwp have changed and tpn doesnt seem to count anymore, is this true? I have been to oxford and am waiting to see if bowel transplant is open to me, i hope youve managed to stay away from hospital.if anyone reads this and can pass on my email to sue marsh i would be eternally grateful. del

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